Review: Steven Universe “Restaurant Wars”

It’s kinda like Storage Wars but with restaurants and no assholes.

Spoilers Below

In another “filler” episode, Steven asks for something off-menu from Beach Citywalk Fries, Peedee digs all the way in the back of the freezer to find mozzarella sticks—an exciting meal for Steven, That is until the neighboring restaurateur Kofi points out, mozzarella sticks, in addition to being delicious and a perpetually underrated appetizer, contain bread, cheese, marinara sauce: all the ingredients of a pizza. This prompts Kofi to pull a “new serving fries” sign from right next to his door, reigniting a a long-dormant war between Fish Stew Pizza and Beach Citywalk Fries.

 

The feuding families are all about petty escalation, both in and out of their respective kitchens. Mr. Fryman just yells a bunch, but Kofi tries to make Steven sign a loyalty pledge which consists of a ridiculously thick stack of papers, then wants to painfully brand him as a Fish Stew Pizza VIP. (Holy Fuck! I would’ve taken a tattoo over a branding.)

Scarily, their menus converge. Mr. Fryman tries to get Steven to eat fried pizza, with pizza bits, while Jenny blandly tells Steven that she’s obligated to offer him French fry pizza. Both of these are basically the same item, and they sound disgusting like stoner food, so it’s no wonder that Steven manages to beat both families at their own game. More on this in a sec, but first, Ronaldo.

I know most of the Steven Universe fandom is not particularly fond at the obnoxious Ronaldo, but “Restaurant Wars” is basically the perfect way to use the character, conspiracies aside. (Where are the lizard people?) His frustration at the war isn’t because he has to work, it’s because he’s been banned from the Fish Stew Pizza WiFi and can’t blog from the restaurant.

He rejects Steven’s attempt to get him and Kiki to fake a relationship, because he already has a girlfriend—information conveyed with an intense Zachary Steel line delivery that makes it impossible for anyone to believe him, least of all Steven and Kiki.

(Cue Jenny: “Where’s she at, though?”) The plan fails miserably when Jane The Ticket Girl from a previous episode called “Lion 2: The Movie”, is revealed to be Ronaldo’s girlfriend. (voiced by DeeDee Magno Hall!), comes back to Beach City to return Ronaldo’s Koala Princess DVD.

He tries to tell her what happened, but it’s too late: “Save it for your blog, keep Beach City single.” (Are heartbroken Women really this savage and irrational?)

I like how their “Romeo & Juliet” ploy almost worked, an amusing twist on the cliche in and of itself. Though this is further evidence that Steven has trouble finishing books and TV shows he starts.

This stuff is all fun (If you sadistically like seeing Rinaldo in pain), but the episode really finds its resolution at the end, as Steven makes a faux-restaurant that only serves two items (fantastic fries and a pizza bagel), but he provides enough of a spin on the old stalwarts to send Mr. Fryman and Kofi running. The food at Steven’s is visually depicted as a trump card anime move with Steven as cunning master,and it’s a delightful moment for everyone, from Lamar and Katie to Aivi and Surrashu (who really have a blast with the different notes in the score) to the voice actors.

When Steven enacts his final ploy: setting up a competing restaurant serviced by the Gems, in a valiant attempt to get Kofi and Mr. Fryman to band together against a greater threat to their establishments and restore their truce which thankfully works.

Billy Merritt with his John Goodman-like voice hasn’t had alot to do as Mr. Fryman for most of the show so far, but he makes a strong case for keeping the character around just from the way he gawks: “The ketchup… is inside the fries?!” The cream cheese in the pizza bagel brings out a whole new level of pizza flavor, and it means you can eat pizza at any time. (Has Kofi never eaten cold pizza for breakfast? It’s an actual thing ya know. 😛 )

The lesson here is, obviously, that food should be made with the care and attention it deserves. (And that if Onion is waiting on line for your restaurant, something is wrong.)

If there’s something “Restaurant Wars” doesn’t do, it’s hit on that theme a bit more. Sure, there’s Ronaldo’s lost love for Jane who I do hope we see again, because Ronaldo in a relationship would be interesting as it’s own episode. (And chances are they’ll probably attempt this at some point.)

Also in Kofi and Mr. Fryman themselves. Both of them appear to be single fathers—as far as I can tell, we’ve never seen a Mrs. Fryman, if there is one, and Nanefua is Kofi’s father—which seems like a much stronger grounding for the connection they form at the end of the episode. (Or, rather, a connection they’d already had and lost over an order of mozzarella sticks.) “Restaurant Wars” is a really nice, fun episode, but I’d like to see both families further fleshed out since we don’t know who either of their mother’s are.

Ronaldo was hilariously pathetic in this episode.  And he has wheelie shoes!

I’m glad they brought back the ticket girl (whose name is Jane apparently!) from “Lion 2: The Movie”, I hope she and Ronaldo can work it out.

Also I liked seeing Jenny and Kiki interacting. We haven’t seen much of that since “Beach Party” but it was nice and really cute. I dunno, I love seeing sibling interactions when they aren’t mean-spirited.

Anyway, this episode was somewhat fun but so far 70% of the previous episodes have mostly been filler for the other characters and we have yet to get to the meat of Season 3 outside of Peridot having magnetic powers and Pearl mending proverbial fences with Greg in the “Mr. Greg” episode.  

Let’s see what direction the other episodes take us or if this will actually lead anywhere down the line. 🙂