Review: South Park: The Streaming Wars Part One

Like everything the producers of South Park do, they often showcase a magician’s hot assistant as the title of an episode or a special which leads to awful publications attempting to decipher what the hell Matt Stone and Trey Parker are going to cook up, but really, South Park: The Streaming Wars continues to showcase the franchise creators’ advanced forward thinking that seems to just be far beyond reach of what we deem reality. Years ago, these same aforementioned publications would accuse the producers of South Park of downplaying school shootings in the episode “Dead Kids” and noting that society has become so accustomed to the news of school shootings, that the bylines only last a few days in the mainstream media in favor of whatever else is more pertinent. For whatever reason, we live in a society that would rather care about how much money Elon Musk makes or if Marvel’s MCU has everyone accounted for in their inclusivity check boxes instead of teachers making enough money or students feeling safe in schools. Hell, even Futurama’s John DiMaggio learned the hard way that nobody cares about your online feelings, and you either take a job or you don’t, there are more important things to care about than slightly famous people.

With the recent shootings in Buffalo and Texas, the producers of South Park seemed to have hit society right on the head with “Dead Kids” and now we’re getting a special that prognosticates the future of streaming…albeit…a different kind of streaming. According to Water.org, nearly 800 million people do not have access to clean water. That’s today. And with the constant yearly rise in global temperatures, those problems may very well come Stateside which is exactly the case with Denver, Colorado in the latest feature-length film for Paramount+. With water becoming more and more scarce in Denver, Colorado, it won’t take long before billionaire magnates opt to buy properties next to premium sources of water streams, thereby making sure their way of life is secure for the future. Of course, there are those who look to do those legitimately, and those who do not. Enter the return of the biggest source of urinated water, Mr. Pi Pi. Not happy no longer just being a lukewarm destination for families, Mr. Pi Pi has entered the commodities business with ManBearPig as his new hired muscle.

Like in television, South Park is rife with streaming providers, but what about the content in those streams? Well, the kids take advantage of that with a new profitable business that is such a big deal it’s able to raise thousands of dollars for Cartman’s new breast implants. That’s right folks, get ready for THIS backlash, eight-year-old Eric Cartman is a trans kid now, a result of an exhausting 25th season of South Park that saw Eric and his mother attempt to make money in real estate only to go under and have to move into a hot dog. Don’t worry though, the real estate company they attempted to put under is still doing well despite the fact that the agents are killing themselves in an attempt to keep up with all of the streaming properties the oligarchs are attempting to gobble up.

As for the streaming providers, everyone’s accounted for here. Karen Marsh, Mr. Black, and even new adversaries have arrived in an attempt to jockey for position for those sweet, sweet, subscription dollars. A sequel appears to be incoming, evidenced by the slightly shorter runtime of this film (48 minutes) as compared to the COVID specials (~60 minutes each), but that doesn’t make this special any less enjoyable. Musical contributions from the likes of Cardi B/Megan Thee Stallion, Commodores, and Bill Withers set an apt tone for a stark warning from Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Today, the TV providers are fighting over streaming properties, but what about when we need the basic necessities of life that are becoming increasingly scarce?

Matt Stone and Trey Parker give us their most stern warning yet. But, South Park: The Streaming Wars also features a litany of hilarious gags that, like “Dead Kids“, help you forget the seriousness of the matter at hand, but the signs are still all there.