English Dub Review: The Silver Guardian “The Crazy Randengyoku / Billion Player”

One guy showed up causing problems, and everybody comes out of the woodworks.

Overview (spoilers)

After having finally beaten his way through level zero and reacquired his sealed memories, Suigin is ready to go with Nishikaze and Rin to release Rei. Slight hiccup. The crazy guy who fired the gold Kamehameha from miles away? He’s at the base of the pyramid now, and he’s murdering anyone he can get his hands on. Decision time. Ignore the plight of the innocent and rescue Rei, or turn back and be a hero while she languishes in her prison… Well, we won’t get a big battle if he does the smart thing, so he’s off to fight the baddie. Of course, rather than approach him in a smart way, Suigin jumps at Randengyoku from the top of the pyramid. Here’s the problem with that plan. Once you are in the air, it’s all up to physics, and you are a sitting duck. Fortunately, the assassin we saw a few episodes back that worked for the the Totem rushes in to divert the blast. He also is one of the few players to have the Doctor skill. He uses it to heal Suigin back to full. He then launches into a battle with Randengyoku, who is too fast and too strong even for him. The painted crazy uses one battle technique after another to lay on the pressure so that the assassin (named Purple) can’t activate his countdown power. Just when things look bleak for Purple, MORE of the Totems show up. An Ice Mage and a Wood Mage. It seems Totem likes to double down on its special skills.

Finally getting fed up with all these new contenders in the way of his fight with Suigin, Randengyoku uses a spell to grow into a giant and call out a giant chain gun. It’s powerful enough to break through the ice mage’s wall, but the wood user has a slight bit more defensive power available. Wrapped in the trunk of a giant tree, the gang note it’s only a matter of time before this wall falls as well. That means this is the perfect time for an extended conversation about titles, classes, and special skills. Of course! And, after informing all of us how this system works, Suigin is reminded that he still has abilities in his Raven Scarf that he hasn’t used. Too bad Nishikaze already went outside to get a handle on the situation, and is currently getting riddled with bullets. So much punishment she takes that she is blasted through the wood wall and into Suigin’s waiting arms. In a sudden blink, everyone finds themselves outside the rubble and at a safe distance. This particular power from his scarf not only allows him to scan other people, but to split into several superspeed shadow clones. Now, with everyone facing off with Randengyoku, can he really take them on? He proudly announces that the shells discarded by his chain gun’s fire weren’t shells at all. They were bombs! So, Nishikaze offers him a deal. If he will let them all go, she can arrange for him to duel with Totems leader Temujin!

Our Take

Wow, the writing on this episode took a steep plummet. Here! We have three characters to introduce, a battle to do, and a boat load of game mechanics that should have been explained a long time ago. Shoehorn them all into this episode, won’t you? With all of this stuff being crammed into what should have just been a major fight, just about every rule of writing gets lit on fire, and their ashes used to season the producer’s steak. Big one: Chekhov’s gun. For half of an episode, we watch as these bombs/shells keep getting dropped. We know there’s something special about them by the way they look and how much screen time they get. He takes the time to explain them aaaand… Nothing. He doesn’t use them. Why did you even show it off here? I mean, sure, keep showing the shells discharge from the gun. But, you don’t need to explain the ability here if you aren’t going to use it. That way, when we get to when he DOES use it, their explosions are a shock. We’ll suddenly realize just how much danger Suigin and the gang were in before. Explaining it when you aren’t using it is just a waste of time. You’ll just have to explain it again later.

Second, nobody in this episode had a lick of logic. Thousands of players got utterly murdered by Randengyoku and his ape familiar at the start of the episode. All they had to do was log out. There is nothing we have been told that you can’t log out anywhere, so they could simply leave the game to prevent their deaths. Nah, that strips the story of innocent victims for our hero to save. The amount of times Nishikaze tells Suigin that they are low on time, need to leave, and she’s going without him only to… sit around and wait for him anyways. She even takes the time to invite the whole group over to Totem’s HQ. There was no actual rush, despite how insistent she was. And she could have easily extracted everyone using her mirror from within the tree trunk. Worst yet, the sheer amount of “talking as a free action” this show slathers all over the place is ridiculous. There is no urgency left when all you do is talk about game mechanics this and how your powers work that. It’s just a mass of talking and not doing.

The ADR script is similarly lackluster. Characters talk in unnatural ways that only barely fit the mouth movements. It doesn’t help that the voice acting is all phoned in. Only Randengyoku’s voice actor seemed to put real effort in here. Everyone else is flat and boring. And, with the exception of a couple shots of monkey boy being a creepy villain, the art and animation is similarly flat and boring.