Review: Marvel’s Ultimate Spider-Man VS. The Sinister 6 “Graduation Day”

Rest in peace….bitch.

Spoilers Below

Spider-Man and his super-team of 64 pals are in town to either graduate or take part in a huge graduation celebration featuring the Web-Warriors and a bunch of Spider-Man’s classmates. Doc Ock shows up and makes a valid threat against the life of Peter and May Parker all the while doing the most heinous thing he can think of…eat wheat cakes.

Spider-Man decides to round up all his super-buddies and heads to different installations of Doc Ock’s hideouts where run-ins with the other Sinister Six goes down. Crossbones gets mutated into a crocodile, both the Rhino and Vulture are going nuts, and both Scorpion and Kraven the Hunter are in it til the end to help Octavius cause as much destruction as they can. All of the bad guys get captured and are placed in the Triskelion, but Ock breaks everyone out and is able to capture pretty much the entirety of the Marvel super-hero roster in a slowly-but-surely crushing dome. Worst yet, Doc Ock takes Spider-Man’s powers away in exchange for May’s livelihood. The Sinister Six leaves Peter Parker behind wallowing in his own self-pity.

Fortunately, May just happened to have brought along refurbished old-school Spidey web shooters, so Peter takes those with a side of jet pack and heads to Oscorp with the hopes of getting his powers back. Spider-Man is met with a bit of resistance with the Sinister Six imploding Oscorp to the ground, but he does get to meet up with Norman in time to get his powers back. With the help of the same gun that took HIS powers away, Spider-Man is able to turn the Vulture, Crossbones, and Rhino back to normal while turning his focuses to Ock, Scorpion, and Kraven. With his powers back in full-force, Spidey’s able to take down Scorp and Kraven with ease, but then Ock turns himself into a monstrous octopus that terrorizes the city.

Spidey uses the final round of the aforementioned gun and he uses it on the monster. In exchange, Octavius helps Peter destroy the dome and free the Marvel heroes in time for the graduation ceremony. The web-warriors become teachers at S.H.I.E.L.D. to a class that we’ll never see because this show is officially IN THE CAN! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Our Take

God, I hated this franchise, and this episode is a perfect exhibit of everything that’s wrong. I mean, a monster octopus? We’ve just set back the creation of Marvel characters 10-years because of shit like that. Furthermore, nothing is funnier than seeing the Marilyn Manson take on the Vulture character except for the Woody Allen take on the Rhino.

We didn’t get a lot of screen time with them, but Spider-Man’s friends are just as hopeless. I nearly lost my senses when Squirrel Girl launched her devastating attacks against The Vulture, and the Web Warriors are just as ridiculous.

The one thing this finale had going for the franchise, is a pretty decent premise. Spider having lost his powers with the entirety of the Marvel roster imprisoned was a good idea, but then I thought about the logic of how the hell the collective minds of Tony Stark, Curt Connors, and Bruce Banner were unable to get out of a force field. Worst yet, the Iron Patriot already looks like a complete disaster of a character design, but at least we won’t have to sit through it as being part of the Spider-Man franchise anymore.

I hope there was a big huge party for this show that required Drake Bell to have a few drinks and then…you know…drive home.